Swansea Escort Abby

In these days of liberated women and everything goes, I find myself in the dilemma of saying, sure, I am a liberated woman but no, everything does not go!

I do not know how many times I have to say it. Most of you gents are well mannered and take with good grace and acceptance the fact I chose to NOT participate in CIM (that will be come in mouth for you confused by the abbreviations types).

It is with regret I have to, once again bring this subject up in my blog. I have a regular client that when told this was off the cards, as in, I have exercised my right to CHANGE MY MIND and withdraw this service and no, not mid booking, I posted it on this very blog, I updated my site and all details I could find where I am advertised and updated those also… I DID NOT decide halfway through a booking to simply not do it and even if I had, so what? It’s my mouth your in, it’s my choice!

My regular client is no longer a client of mine, on my say so. I do not do CIM anymore, have no plans to start doing it again and no amount of pleading ‘I only come here because you do this’ will coerce me into doing it. What it will do is make sure I never pick up your call, answer your email or see you in any way, shape or form again.

If a lady says, ‘No Sir, I do not do that’ – RESPECT IT. It’s that simple. Do not try to make me feel a bitch for it, do not try to make out I somehow owe you this service.  And Sir, you know who you are so you can stop calling me now, I will never pick up again.

I hate being this stern on my blog, hate it. But I have to vent this. I have to put my lovely, petite foot down firmly and tell you all once and for all, I won’t do it. Plenty will, I am told, well great, go to the plenty then, I am unique, I am not part of the plenty and I will not blindly follow where others supposedly lead.

Okey-dokey? Good.

Now then, back to regular posting:

Where possible, for the next few weeks, family commitments pending, please try and book in advance if you wish to see me. If you call me up at 11am and ask for mid-day, your unlikely to get what you want. If you want a same day appointment, a same day INCALL please try to call me before 10am and allow a couple of hours for me to sort out family before you come over. I would greatly appreciate this for the next couple of weeks as I have a lot on and a lot of commitments to make. I can see you, I only please ask for a little more notice than an hour

Finally, to my client that claims I squat well – thank you Sir, I try my best

xxx

The eagle eyed among you will notice a few new pictures peppered throughout the site.

After my disastrous flirtation with the cod that caused the food poisoning I decided to update the pictures as it’s only fair you lot get something to titillate after a shockingly bad few months for me work wise.

First the flu which knocked me for six, shed poundage off me faster than if I had gone to a boot camp,  and made me want to curl up in a ball and die – I get a couple of weeks of being okay to work when a cod knocks me flat back down again for an entire 5 days. By way of apology to all the missed calls I discovered upon putting on my phone this morning, there are new shots of the slimmer me all throughout my site so if you only read the blog, go back and look at the site again… Skip the words and feast your eyes on the new pictures!

It is New Balls Please…. Season – Tennis mania has struck or should we call that Murray Mania, that’s the in thing isn’t it? I rather call him Murray Mint myself, whenever I see him I could go a bag of those!

I watched yesterday afternoon in a somewhat dazed state as Federer lost set one then set two and I thought, it can not possibly be! I did sort of guess that if it went to 5 sets he would win. But all those people betting on Federer to win it again must be thinking again… If he plays like that against Nedal, he’s a looser, a gonner, he needs to buck up. Perhaps he’s lost the appetite now? He’s won so much already and he has a brand new pair of twins to play with rather than the tennis racket? Retirement looming perhaps? Let’s face it, he can afford to not do one more hours work for the rest of his life. He won’t meet Nedal until late on in the tournament so, we’ll have to see… Bloody lovely to see John McEnroe again though, a total treat!

As this is a girls blog that boys read I think I should also give a nod to the footie, although, being Welsh, it’s hard to get worked up over England playing. I’ve always been of the opinion that footie is played by boys and rugby is played by men! Now, don’t throw your England flag at my head! I was watching the news this morning and all the in-fighting in the England team, manager against player? Bad news, in-fighting is very bad news. So, I do hope you English guys reading this get your team straightened out so they win today and come on, don’t boo the players, it’s bad form!

Typically, now I am fighting fit and well to work, the phone has gone into hibernation mode and all is quiet on this Western Front. It seems I will get the opportunity to watch Murray Mint play this afternoon without having to beg a client to keep it on silent in the background – not really greatly appreciated although I do remember an entire 2 hour booking I where we had to have the Welsh Rugby under 21′s on for the whole of the session – I would like to think it was I that got the chap all worked up but alas, I think it was the Rugby…

Tell you what, I’ll throw in another pic here and then sign off for now. I might as well go out and buy a huge bowl of fruit to feast on while watching Murray Mint this afternoon, plus a pack of those probably, just to get in the spirit. If anybody fancies saving me from death by apple, banana and strawberry plus a pack of Murry Mints please do call me, go on, you know you want to, just a test call, see if my phone still works

Love to all

xxx

Anybody wishing to visit me from now until Monday morning will have a job. A lovely fish supper last night has turned into a not so lovely case of food poisoning this morning! I will save you the specifics of what is happening to my insides and just explain – NIGHTMARE.

I will be resting up for the rest of the week and weekend.

Will add more to the blog as and when I can sit at my desk for longer than 10 minutes without feeling as if I am about to pass out!

Apologies to all and see you back, fighting fit on Monday!

xx

Guys and gals of the blog…

I extend my heartfelt apologies to each and every person that has tried to call me, tried to email me…

For the past three weeks I have been laying in bed with the flu.

Now, when I say the flu: I do not mean a cold. I do not mean a slight high temperature. I do not mean a feeling of being unwell slightly or even middle of the road not feeling well.

I mean the depths of absolute and total hell. I mean fire and brimstone, I am on my way to the devil, hell…

I mean – over a stone and a half in weight loss in two weeks.

I mean, call the doctor I think I am going to die – then, nothing… I could not talk to a single person, my family included. Whispers of that dreaded swine flu were rampant but the doctor, according to my sister, said no. Just run of the mill, ordinary old boring flu.

Run of the mill.

That is what he called it.

Run of the mill? Run of the God damned mill? I can’t even describe to you how I was hallucinating at one point. How I was so cold yet so bloody damn hot. How I got stripped to the underwear, freezing cold yet my lovely sister put a fan on me to make me even colder! Something to do with bringing down a fever she has told me – I reckon it was all to do with some sick, perverted torture she was carrying out, possibly in retaliation for the time when she was 8 and I was 5 and I stole her Barbie doll, cut off all the long blond hair, dressed her up in Action Man’s clothes and claimed, ‘she’s  butch now Claire, get used to it…’    She never got over that…

 How I could not sip water, how I did not know what  week it was, what day it was never mind what time it was. How when I eventually got to sit on the edge of the bed instead of lay in it like a half dead corpse, I was so shaky and weak I knew I could not even walk tot he dressing table and pick up a tissue.

Apparently, that is run of the mill.

I would like to see the doc take that for 2 weeks and then say it’s run of the mill. I used to like my doctor you know…

For the last 5 days I have been steadily growing stronger. Strong enough to eat a little bit and talk some and gather my strength together to think about work and look at all the cross emails I have had from missed possible bookings and possible advance booking requests which went unanswered by myself.

So, I am taking this blog entry as an apology to all.

This weekend I have to clean up my home so it is ready for back to work from Monday. I have to do it, three weeks laying in a bed sick has not been kind to my home – it’s a disaster of a mess. I would not invite myself in here to visit me…

Catching up on the news – oh, hang on a second, the news is only the election, right? On the bright side, I missed most of all the furor about the election. I was also too sick to go and vote on Thursday so I abstained. Possibly, sensibly so.

I have realised though, that, if I wanted to commit a hanus crime, then yesterday was the day to go do it as I would have had no press coverage at all unless, after sleighing 100 people’s heads off in Tesco, I then shouted ‘This is because of the hung parliament!’

I would like to warn my previous clients, you lovely lot, I am down a stone and a half here. My clothes are loose and my backside slightly smaller than before. In fact, all over me is slightly smaller than before. It’s been a revelation the last 2 days to find out I can get my jeans on again – the pair I have not been able to get on since 2004! I am oddly, still fitting into my bra’s which is odd as normally, with us girls, the boobs are the first place it goes from! God must have been pitying me and thought, you know, this woman, she needs to keep those boobs, they are quite my best work after all, let’s shrink her legs and backside, arms and belly instead! Thank you Lord!

Now I have shed this weight and been so sick, a healthy eating regime is in place to ensure I am at optimum fitness in the future to look the flu in the eye, should it try to come back and give it the two fingers, with a grin!

My phone is back on from Monday morning.

I might have forgotten what to do with you guys by then so if I were you, I would hurry and phone me for a booking – you’ll be getting a practical virgin – nobody has been near me in weeks!

Before I bugger off and contemplate how to clean up the shocking mess that is my lounge – if you have eaten too many cakes – catch the flu.  Seriously, weight loss with no effort.

And do not bother with all the meds you can get over the counter or from the doc himself – all pointless, don’t touch the symptoms even slightly. Save your time and your money and simply lay there feeling rotten until you can open your eyes and mutter to the person shuffling about the bedroom (my sister) what day is it and is it still 2010? Charmingly, when she asked me yesterday, before she went home to her own family, leaving me alone for the first time in weeks, to ensure I was properly okay to be left, she asked;  ’who was in charge of running the country?’ 

And I replied; ‘I really don’t know.’

To which she replied: ‘Yep, that is correct – your all better – I am off home to me husband, kids and dog – you owe me for nursing duties…’

Take care and call back – I am working from Monday.

Abby

xx

Happy Easter!

Normally being a very organised soul, I know where everything is and I can get my hands on it in about 5 seconds flat.  I have found myself scratching my head this morning and causing no doubt, wrinkles, as I frown.

I have put my password for my website somewhere safe and for the life of me can not find it. As I remember the password to get into the blog, I am having to post up a blog entry instead of a message on the front of the site. I have taken my study apart looking for this password and could kick myself, hard. I will find it possibly the very second after I hit post for this blog entry as that, as they say, is Murphy’s Law.

The reason for posting, the message I have to say is this:

I WILL BE UNAVAILABLE FOR WORK FROM TOMORROW, THURSDAY 1ST APRIL TO NEXT FRIDAY 9TH APRIL….

No, this is not an April Fool’s Day joke. I really am going on a holiday (singing Cliff Richard in my head as I type although given the weather, it’s far from the summer holiday he warbled on about many moons ago).

I will be able to take calls and pick up my email so anybody looking for an advance booking feel free to get in touch the usual way.

It is a last minute opportunity and one I can’t miss out on really so I am packing furiously and am off!

This is more exciting than when I won a giant Easter egg from a giant supermarket, when they called to inform me and I went ‘Really? Come on, really? Is this Paul? Is this a joke? I was not born yesterday…’ and I hung up.

I did actually win the eater egg as they called back and off I went to get it! That egg lasted me for months! I loved it! It’s the one and only thing I have ever won in the whole of my life!

Who needs the lottery, eh?

So I am off and before I go I will be hounding my lovely web lady to update the blog a bit, a new design perhaps… And also provide a new password for my site should I fail to find the old one! The poor lovely lady, I do make work for her…

So that’s all folks! In the wisdom of Buggs Bunny!

Have a good Easter all and see you on the 9th.

x

 As my Great Grandfather used to say: ‘Tis weather for Ducks love…’ I don’t mind rain, as long as it’s proper rain. Rain that throws it down, hammering your window at night almost violently while your all cuddled up in the blankets feeling blissful that your indoors snuggles up with nowhere to go and not outdoors with your umbrella inside out as you battle the force of Mother Nature.

Alas, we have had no rain like that. We have had that drizzle that can manage to soak you in five minutes flat and no umbrella or indeed a hood can keep it away – you see it, you have to go out in it, you know your going to get wet, end of. I am tiring now of wearing boots to outcalls and want to get my slingbacks back on pronto – I just need the weather to cooperate a little…

And fog… Yeah.., we’ve had some fog. Particularly last weekend across The Gower, we had fog. It made the common look very bewitching and dare I even say it, romantic, but it made the pillocks that drive white cars without their lights on particularly difficult to spot until you were staring down the nose of their bonnets. 

A driver of a white car with no lights on in thick fog decided to overtake a  bike rider, for his part, the rider was waving his hand in frustration and I am sure if I had clear visability I would have made out the term ‘f***ing w***er from his lips as the car jerked back onto his side of the road to avoid a collision with me. I had my fog lights on and that is what possibly saved me a nasty bump and a necessary showdown on the common with some fool that nobody can see coming until it’s almost far too late…

The rain has prevented me getting into my garden and planting all my cuttings this week. Come rain or shine I will have to do it this weekend as they need to be out in plenty of earth to grow and blossom in time for late spring.

I think we have been far too spoiled when it comes to rain the last few months – sure we have had snow then ice then snow but then we had sun and sun and sun so when the rain did come, it was a bit of a shock to the system.

Let’s hope we get the worst of it over now and when the clocks go forward this weekend, we get lovely balmy evenings where it remains light much later into the afternoon and the temperatures slowly start to creep up.

Once again this week I was delighted to welcome my exquisite box of chocolates man! Many thanks and you will be pleased to hear that this time I did not sit down and demolish the entire box in one go and in about half an hour!

This time I paced myself. I have been having just three chocolates per evening to make the pleasure last longer! It’s been absolute heaven.

To my client who visited me for the first time ever this week and the bed broke… Fear not Sir! I have fixed those slats and given it a good bouncing upon, they remain intact so it was a temporary break easily fixed. Quite why I laughed when the bed seemingly broke is beyond me, I mean, I would be the one paying out for the new bed, right? But it was funny and you were a good sport Sir so thank you for taking it all in your stride.

It would seem the spring in the air and the finally blooming daffodils has put a spring in the steps of my clients who have kept me busy the last few weeks. And I need to be kept busy else I will fall into the hands of mischief…

Already I have advance bookings for the coming weeks so urge those thinking of booking me to book ahead as Easter is fast approaching and I will be closing my diary soon. If your very lucky you might get a chance to catch me on a ‘same day as you call’ booking but the way advanced bookings are going at the moment, you would have to be very lucky so skates on and pick up the phone early, please.

Once again, a timely reminder, please do not call me at 10 am and ask for 10.30am that day – it’s not going to happen unless your a very good regular and can take the sight of me with bed hair and with a pile of dishes in my sink!

Also, please don’t call me at 2am – I do sleep you know, no, really, I do actually sleep and you will get nothing but a bark of ‘get lost’ from me if your going to call at that time asking if I am free for an incall right now…

Again, I know that the sort of client that does that is not the sort to read this blog but you never know, something might filter through…

x

Not so long ago it was January 1st and I was full of enthusiasm for a new year. To work hard, to be constructive, to accomplish…   I woke up this morning to my radio alarm playing Bread of Heaven (In Welsh!) on Radio 2 - it is March 1st – how the heck did that happen?

How the heck did 6am arrive so quickly this morning is another question I can not really answer but I will leave it there – how I wish it was still Sunday and the day ahead of me was a gentler paced one. I do love my Sundays of nothing of great consequence… Monday, sheesh, it’s always all go…

All my good intentions of working hard this year have, so far, eluded me. It would seem life has had other ideas for me for the first two months of this year. It’s a good job we never know what is around the corner or we would never set foot out of bed and take the walk to the end of the road to find out. 

Last week was a complete and utter washout and to all my lovely clients that tried to call me only to get voicemail and to those that actually got through to me (your timing skills are unique if you caught me with my phone on!) I apologise sincerely for being unable to work. A situation arose which demanded my attention (again) and I had to attend to it. There was no time or room for any work of this nature and as frustrating as you might have found it, I guarantee you could not have matched my frustration. Or my anger. Or my sleepless nights or my running about almost bumping into myself coming back from somewhere I had just been while I rushed on to the next place I had to go!

Sometimes, you are faced with a situation that it is best to tackle head on, best to turn off a phone, step back from everything else and deal with whatever it is that needs dealing with.

I have done that now.

Normal service is resumed from today onwards and I intend to take full advantage of having cleared the decks to make way for some good and proper frolicking.

I am waxed, I am buffed, I am polished and I am ready – you may call, you may email, you may sample the delights of my banana flavoured condoms once again!

I have a renewed spring in my step and a dangerous glint in my eyes – odd what a week of throwing out metaphorical trash can do to a person, it sort of refreshes, renews…

Finally before I head off to the hairdryer, Happy St David’s Day to all the Welsh! No, I do not have a Welsh Costume all togged up to somehow look sexy that I can slip on, although, I am certain there is a way to do it you know, I just need to think about it for awhile…

We can display the flag instead and all celebrate the fact that Welsh cakes are lovely, even if the daffs are not out yet. And Tom Jones is still sexy, I do not care what anybody else says…. I am off to listen to some Delilah and have a small dance about my lounge, then it’s dry the hair and make myself look presentable before no doubt dismissing 101 withheld number calls, dealing with emails where I am asked to explain exactly what happens on a booking please (Duh!? What do you think? We pair up odd socks and darn those that are worn out, obviously!) and settling down to some mind numbingly dull accounting stuff here while I wait for Mr Reasonable to call, with a number displayed to ask me in a cherrie voice if I am available this afternoon – Yes Sir, I am indeed!

x

I can not even talk about the game on Saturday.

I spent the latter half with my face buried in a cushion whimpering ‘please make it stop…’

I have my opinions I will keep them to myself, it’s best that way else I might start knocking my head against the brick walls here and that will do my few remaining brain cells no good at all…

Roll on Saturday and bring on Scotland – I am ready and waiting and can feel revenge fresh in the back of my throat! I might have to go on pitch and show them how it’s done, we are playing home, it’s only a fast spin up the M4 - watch this space!

A huge thank you to my Monday morning booking who cheered me up no end. You know who you are Sir and it was my pleasure seeing you. Those chocolates you brought me were called exquisite and indeed they were exquisite. This was no box of Milk Tray. I fully and totally enjoyed them Monday evening and once again, a very happy birthday to you Sir, I am very happy you decided to make me your birthday gift to yourself. You were a star

As it is Tuesday, a thank you to my this morning booking as well, can’t leave you out, don’t want you to think I am biased! You were lovely also!

Okay, now to the header for this entry? Well, my sister, in her wisdom has decided that what her family needed most was a dog. A puppy. A cross breed springer/cocker spaniel to be correct. You know, a dog that likes to hunt, retrieve, a gun dog, no little pug dog for her, a full blown spaniel.

He is called Sprite and Sprite is INSANE.

Just 6 months old and totally, utterly and unquestionably bonkers. He does the usual things, chews table legs, eats slippers,  he loved the beef joint my sister bought for Sunday dinner two weeks ago, loved it! They all had fish fingers in the end…

He most especially likes to greet people he sees when out on a walk with a wag of the tail and a quick pee on their shoes, that is his all time favourite way to say hello to everybody.

I have learned when I go to my sisters now to stand by the gate to say hello to Sprite. Not to walk into the garden until Sprite has got so over-excited he does his pee thing, then I know it’s safe to proceed in.

To be fair to my sister, she is training Sprite in the way you should train a dog. We had dogs while we were growing up so we all know the score. She is working hard. It’s just Sprite is slightly touched in the head. Nothing and I do mean nothing will prevent him from attempts to conquer the bird kingdom.

A beach walk on Sunday – I thought it was a good idea at the time. It was a lovely, sunny morning, the tide was up, dogs are allowed on the Bay right now so why not accompany my sister and Sprite for a lovely walk along the front before home for lunch and more rugby on the telly? I know she said he has this slight thing about birds, but it could not be that bad, right?

Wrong.

Yelps, howls, shaking little dog legs. Barks, drags and pulls on the lead. It sounded as if we were murdering the dog. We were not walking this dog. This dog was walking us, hang on that is not correct -  This dog was dragging us towards this one sandy spot left on the beach after the tide had come in, the spot where all the gulls in God’s creation had decided to flock and Sprite wanted a bit of the action, blimey did he want a bit of the action! I have never in all my days heard a dog make such a noise. Howling and yelping and my sister? Hanging onto the lead at the owner end being pulled at, I would say, a good 5mph, along the beach going like this ‘Bad Sprite! Naughty Sprite. Sit! Sit! SIT!’

She walked home through the park that morning covered in mud from where she had tripped up over a lead entangled around her legs and landed face first in the mud as the tide was retreating leaving that lovely sand-sludge that it does.

I have never seen anything so funny in all my life. She walked with her head bowed somewhat, her normally fab blond bob looking rather tangled up and matted with muck. I can’t even tell you how her clothes looked without bursting into fits of giggles as I write this. She was beyond shamed. People were giggling as they went past and she was going ‘Yes, it’s funny, I know, look at the blond woman covered in mud, go on, all look….’ Hysterically funny. Sprite? An exhausted (finally) Sprite walking at last to heal by her side.

She told her husband upon return home that he was taking the dog out to the beach from now on. No amount of chicken treats and the ‘stupid bloody click training thing works.’ This dog is impossible. I give up.

If Sprite manages to remain still for long enough to get a decent photo of him I shall take one and post it up on here. To look at him, adorable. But to walk him? I would rather stick my head in a gas oven than go to the beach with Sprite again.

To round off this post I would draw attention to my front page and ask that, should you need a booking from Friday 12th to Friday 19th, please, as stated on the front page, book in advance. I have an extremely busy week coming up next week. I have deadlines to meet with my work (my other work ) As usual everything has been left till the last minute to get done as this work has kept me very busy. Pretty obvious which work I prefer to do as I will put this before other stuff! So it’s cramming time for me. I have to meet my deadlines. I am more than happy to see clients throughout the week but need to know my diary so I can plan ahead. This is only for a week so it’s no big deal. After the 19th, if you have an hour free in an hour, try your luck as you usually do! I can’t always do it but I try to. I know right now I will be unable to do an hour in an hour for the entirety of next week so plan ahead guys!

And fingers crossed for Saturday – I love a home match!

x

No, that’s not my father above, given the header for this entry and the picture up top, you might be all jumping to conclusions – my father does not look this mental – he looks FAR more mental than that!

Mae hen wlad fy nhadau yn annwyl i mi,

Gwlad beirdd a chantorion, enwogion o fri;

Ei gwrol ryfelwyr, gwladgarwyr tra mâd,

Tros ryddid gollasant eu gwaed.

To all non Welsh readers:

I know you all think we are bonkers in Wales but we can talk about you in a language you don’t know so beware! 

Yes, it’s that time of year again – I hope Gareth does not mind being posted up on an escorts blog but really, how mental does he look in this picture? I love it! That is the look we shall throw the English Saturday at 5pm – be afraid, be very afraid, we are mental idiots over the bridge who will chew you up and spit you out as cartilage!

Aside from me – I am lovely and you should all be rushing to book me now! I am the only sane person in Wales!

And when we crush the English with our mighty, uh, might… Then I will be the only sane person in Wales for sure! I will smile with quiet conviction when the rest of the country goes bananas and gets rollicking drunk while singing Tom Jones on the streets, clutching their bottles of beer, carrying their leaks and kissing their rugby shirts and that’s just the girl’s! You need to see the guys!

This is not an anti English post although it might seem that way – I will be the same as each week passes with every other side we play!

Come on Wales!

It is with the rugby in mind I inform all regular gents and any newbies that might be reading this and thinking, bottles of beer and a leak? I am booking her! To please book in advance for the next 6 weekends and avoid if possible, all game times. I am hooked on the game and have reserved my right to watch avidly. If your looking for a time when the game is on – it will still be on even if your here! I will not turn off the Tv, I will be watching it over your shoulder and when I scream out ‘Oh God! Yeah baby!’ It is more likely to be at a try than sheer ecstasy! I can’t even apologise for it – I do love the rugby!

Should we loose a game, I will be in need of severe attention to ease the pain! You have all been warned….

Happy six nations all! Good luck to those supporting the other teams as your going to need it – we are coming to get you all, be afraid, be very afraid…

x

 As we near the end of January I find myself in need of a weekend off.

It’s been a hectic couple of weeks here. A lot of great bookings, a lot of fun…  So far this year I have been blessed with great clients, the type that are funny, chatty, have not minded when I rose off the bed to go to the loo only to walk into the bedroom door on my way (I did not bruise Sir, I can confirm here that all I suffered was a diabolical case of the giggles at the time of the incident – no lasting after effects!)

Long may my favourite sort of client continue beating a path to my door – I adore bookings where you can have fun, a laugh, try to beat each other on the answers to the Great pop quiz on a certain morning radio show (I won! I don’t care what you say Sir, you can’t count!) Although, shouting out an answer whilst in the middle of appreciating me from a backwards perspective is guaranteed to get me into fits of giggles instead of fits of overwhelming lust…

To my client who happily allowed me to watch the end of the tennis match yesterday – and who was rewarded for such kindness with half an hour extra at no extra cost – I thank you! A winning morning all around, for Mr Murray and Mr Anonymous (I never divulge names!) I hope the extra time and the chocolate muffin you left with, plus the huge grin on your face for other services rendered got you through the meeting you had that afternoon with a chilled, relaxed smile on your face!

So, after the snow came the clients and what a lovely lot you have been the last 2 weeks.

This weekend I am taking a break, some well deserved and needed time off. I will do nothing more strenuous than hoover the house and potter about to some music. Of course, I will be up for brunch early on Sunday morning to watch the Assie Open Finals.  Federer is playing now as I type… It will be a Federer v Murray final – is anybody living in Australia reading this? Could you possibly pop down to the Open and kick Federer very hard in the shin? You’ll make one Welsh shiela very happy…

Again, sadly, I find myself asking anybody reading this and possibly thinking about getting in touch – please DO NOT TEXT ME.

I do not reply to you unless you are a regular client. And Gents, if your going to text me saying ‘Hi this is Pete – remember me? We spoke 4 weeks ago….’ Well, your on a hiding to nothing.

Do you have any idea how many Pete’s, Dave’s and so on I actually do speak to on a regular basis – I am sorry, I can not remember you. Your going to have to CALL me if you want to secure a booking with me.

Also, I need to point out what is made obvious throughout my site but needs saying again.

I am a MATURE escort.

I have taken 4 phone calls in the last 2 days alone from Gents looking for fresh faced, young beauty…

No, I don’t need a walking stick and a hip replacement but I am 37 years old – ancient, eh? Please, please READ my site before you pick up the phone.

I have a few wrinkles, I like to call them laughter lines but I am no map of a life lived (not yet anyhow – give me time and I am sure I will resemble my Great Grandmother eventually!)  Everything still points in the right direction and nothing wobbles where it should not, even so, I am 37 years old (see, I am repeating it) I am not 19. I have experience and personality wealth to give along with a good time but I can not give you a bounty of almost born flesh. I am not 19, I never will be again (Thank God).

I do wish though that those callers looking for a young lovely could not hang up so abruptly when I catch on they are looking for a youthful gal and I state I am 37 years old – I swear to God, what? Am I nearly dead then?

On that note, I am off to massage Deep Heat into my arthritically old bones, letting out  huge sigh of effort as I rise from my chair, I am going to stretch and moan (keep it clean there!) and complain that the cold is getting to me and go find my knitted old ladies cardigan to put on while I wonder how on earth I could have arrived at such an ancient age and cry into my chicken soup while I soak my teeth in an old plastic jar on the bathroom shelf before I then take my afternoon nap and think about going to buy my incontinence pads…..

See you on Monday when this old bird will be back with bells on after a weekend of R&R

xx