Swansea Escort Abby

As my lovely regulars will know and indeed you never-before-seen chaps, that have tried in vain to get hold of me the last few weeks - you have indeed needed the patience of a saint to get me. 

Be gone you roofers that are currently the bane of my life! You builders that work to a schedule only an idiot can understand. Who cares now? I do not care how long you take to fix up my roof or manage the drains or pick at the walls - I am off to work from elsewhere.

It’s been incredibly frustrating having workmen and builders roaming around my abode. It makes it impossible to work as they never show up when they say they will and always show up when they say they will not! I am not going to put anybody in an uncomfortable situation so its been very hard to get to see me the last few weeks.  Its been as frustrating for me as it has been for you and finally I have had enough… 

I have secured an incall venue conveniently placed smack bang in the centre of Swansea from which I will conduct my liaisons with my usual charm for the next couple of weeks, if not for longer, without fear of a builder turning up, scratching his arse and commenting that the weather is c**p and don’t I have any biscuits to go with the tea?

I know! I know, exciting isn’t it! Work back to normal, if not extended hours even as I am that excited about it all!

I personally can not wait to dig in, as they say…

All that waiting and all the frustration of being told by me, ‘nope, can’t do that time sorry…’ All gone in the blink of an eye as my stockings, suspenders and I hot tail it to the centre of town with a wink and a smile to greet you warmly.

I am turning my phone on first thing in the morning when I hope it will ring and I can turn the callers on with a lovely greeting and the words ‘Of course I can do that time Sir, come on over, I am waiting your attention…’

Call me, email me, send me a smoke signal if you must! I will get back to you.

Please accept my apologies for any inconvenience not being able to get hold of me on the phone never mind in person, bodily, has caused you and call me back again this coming month – you will not be disappointed – well, unless that is I get a rush of callers and all my availability gets booked up very quickly!

Thank you for your patience guys, its appreciated, you have all been very lovely about my building work…

x

Okay – I just made a fab cup of cappuccino and am all relaxed after a hard day at it – that is, cleaning out the garden shed… It is September soon which means for the phobic among us – spider season! Best, I thought, get on with the shed work now while those little blighters are still busy playing with flies in the garden and not looking for a cozy place to rest their eight legs…

I have been pondering this post all day today while lugging about garden rakes (I have 4 – why?) and finding long lost tennis balls and 2 old toilet seats…

I had a request yesterday for a meeting with a young man who I am sure is completely on the level so, should he be reading this, no dis-respect intended to you Sir. 

His request threw up some questions  to which the answers were – no.

No matter what way you word it, look at it, how nicely you ask or how lovely you sound – no.

Let’s call the young man X for the sake of his privacy and again state I am sure he intended no ill. I have not spoken to him to clarify or explain the situation as my day has been spent, as said, in the shed…

For a long while now X has been trying to get hold of me, literally and figuratively! Every time he would ask me to make the hour + long  journey to him, I have been otherwise engaged or just could not spare the time to do the hour + journey, spend an hour with X and then do the hour + journey home again.

I have a few clients I see from far shores (well, okay, from at most 50 miles away from home - come on that’s far shores for a gal from a small Welsh Town!) and enjoy seeing them and the drive to and from them. I live in  a nice part of the world, at this time of the year it is a pleasure to drive through small villages and spot pure black sheep and fantastic looking scarecrows in fields…  I will make the effort for a nice client and mostly I have nice clients so make the effort.

When X rang me and requested Thursday and I was free Thursday! What a result! At last, after many weeks of effort, we have lift-off…

Not.

You see the thing is this: I do not mind a drive to see you but I need to know I am safe. X could not meet me at his home for reasons obvious and needing no explanation so we arrange to meet elsewhere. The problem is elsewhere is  a house in a very small village where any strange car parked up in the drive would sound alarm bells for neighbours doing their neighbourhood watch duties – and naturally so, I applaud a neighbourhood where one looks out for the other. It’s a dying tradition.

Anyway, to cut a long story short  – I am asked to meet in a car park, leave my car in the car park, get into clients car and he will take me to the house in question.

In a word? No.

You see, we working girls, escorts, call us what you will, are not as thick as we are cabbage looking. A lot of the time we get calls asking for meetings where it’s all a big old practical joke. The caller gets a bit of a thrill asking to meet up then leaving us sat in a car park waiting – trust me, in my early days I was burned by this once. Once. It never happened twice. In a rush to get out and get to the booking I regretted to take the hotel reservation number of the chap I was going to meet therefore I failed to ring the hotel to check he was indeed there. Result? I am sat in car park calling the young man and he is not picking up – all a big joke – let’s get the escort to arrive and then watch her sit in the car and not know what to do – yes, very funny, ha, ha. I fall for it once, shame on you – I fall for it twice, shame on me. It’s never happened twice.

So, I am going to take an hour + drive to sit in a car park and be the butt of a practical joke? No I am not and that aside, the most important part of this post – the safety aspect.

Never, ever get into a car with a man you do not know. Do not leave the safety of your car behind. Do not do it. No amount of money is worth the risk.

I might have taken the address of the house we were to meet in, but really, if harm was intended (which again, I am sure it was not but I have to air on side of caution) what are the odds that address would be correct?

I have a system in place, as do mostly all other WG’s where we inform another WG where we are going. That is why we ask for your details when you call and ask for an outcall – your real details. Anything that does not match up on the electoral register and in phonebooks – we don’t go out of our house.

The deal is if we fail to ring our fellow WG after the booking, they call the police and trust me, the police do come and not in an hours time either as they tend to do if your car has been smashed to bits – they arrive and promptly. They can arrive as promptly as they like but if the address is wrong, what is the use in that? They can send 50 police men, a swat team, the bloody SAS and it would do no good if the address given to me, the one I gave to my fellow WG – in this case Alex from Heathrow – (lovely Alex, blond, smilie, full of sunshine and laughs a bit like Twiggy - go look her up, nice legs, works out a lot!) If I am not at that address, it’s of no use to me if half of bloody Swansea turn up to rescue the damsel in distress – I am not there, I am elsewhere and in a heap load of shit – pardon the French…

It is our safety net, our insurance, why we ask you for details – not to store them away to use one day to have some wicked revenge upon a poor sod who booked us – we ask for our personal safety.

I apologise to the young man in question for using him in such a brash manner on my blog but it’s actually an important entry and as guys that call me are generally thinking with what’s between their legs (come on, admit it…) not with their brains, sometimes you ask me for things and I refuse and you wonder why or you think  I am being a bitch – I really am not – I am looking out for myself and ensuring I am here tomorrow to do another days pleasure at Lloyd Towers and not gracing the slab down the local mortuary.

Okay – onto other matters…. I have the great pleasure of being invited back to visit sock man tomorrow night (see last blog entry!) Now, sock man, well, I did not mention in last post that he had very big, uh, socks!

Us girls know what big feet mean, right? I mean, I only just managed to stop myself from gasping ‘that is not coming near me, Sir…’ and fleeing out of the door screaming in sheer alarm when he got all ready for action last time!

So I have been on the look out for very big condoms all week.  Not really had much luck but I did get an envious look from the lady behind the counter in the chemist when I leaned in close and whispered ‘Do you have condoms in bigger sizes? It’s just the normal ones? Far too small, it almost cut off all blood circulation, I have to locate bigger condoms and fast…’ I think jealousy or was it hatred I saw in her eyes? Not sure, anyhow, she couldn’t assist me so I left with a new nail varnish,  it’s a nice shade of pink.

I will try Boots tomorrow but am not sure I will win out on this one so my lovely guy with the ticklish sides, hysterical laugh and good taste in music (you do have good taste, there is nothing the matter with Son of a Preacher Man!) might have to take another deep breath as I tell him to quit complaining, it’s for his own good! (do not anybody ever complain to me again that their impressive manhood failed to get a mention on my blog – as this goes to prove – I will do it…)

So, that’s the coffee drunk, the house has taken on its quiet, 1am feeling and I am about ready for bed. If I do not go now, I will begin to eat all the Jelly Babies I have stashed away in a secret place and that can not be good for me – not at this time in the night anyhow… Although, now I have mentioned them, a few can’t hurt, right?

xx

It’s been a hectic week all around. What with travelling here, there and everywhere, fitting in cleaning, washing of bedding and clients, that is seeing clients, not washing clients! Tending to the garden, you know, when it stops raining for 5 minutes! There has been barely any time left over to blog, update site, spend time on computer, watch Eastenders… All the normal, usual activities that normally and usually go on around here…

I have attempted to go clothes shopping the last week – it was not too successful an event I have to admit given half the shops have sale items out and they are, frankly, well, pay for them? They should be giving them away free they are so bad. Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending upon how you look at it) the recent weight loss has meant all my clothes fail to fit anymore so clothes shopping is essential. As I actually have to try things on to get correct sizing now, Internet shopping is out and a depressing trawl around department stores is in.

As my booking last Thursday will testify – arriving dressed in a power/office suit where the skirt is falling to the floor is not a great look – hats off to you Sir for being such a sport about it and might I say, your tickelish parts still have me giggling when I recall the hour, never mind the one sock on and one sock off lark! Diddle, diddle dumpling my son John…

Availability for next week is fast booking up and to date I only have Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday left for appointments. Get in quick! There seems to be a summer madness ocurring around Swansea – a rush of heady fever bringing you lovely gents to my door. 

I have a lazy afternoon ahead of me now – a rare time off to lay on the couch and indulge in a few old favourites such as Independence Day or Braveheart or anything else really that involves blood, guts and fighting or aliens that can be punched in the head and the words ‘welcome to earth’ said as one lights up a cigar… I have my bag of pick n mix. I have my popcorn, should I require it after the pick n mix. I have plenty of water, my drink of choice as I burp like a sailor when I have fizzy pop! The weather is awful out and the lovely woolen throw awaits my snuggling under it for a film afternoon. I’m a bit sleepy after such a crazy week at Lloyd Towers so am sure, at some point I will nod off - a lovely way to spend a Friday afternoon.

Take care all, book ahead to avoid disappointment and have a great weekend.

x

In these days of liberated women and everything goes, I find myself in the dilemma of saying, sure, I am a liberated woman but no, everything does not go!

I do not know how many times I have to say it. Most of you gents are well mannered and take with good grace and acceptance the fact I chose to NOT participate in CIM (that will be come in mouth for you confused by the abbreviations types).

It is with regret I have to, once again bring this subject up in my blog. I have a regular client that when told this was off the cards, as in, I have exercised my right to CHANGE MY MIND and withdraw this service and no, not mid booking, I posted it on this very blog, I updated my site and all details I could find where I am advertised and updated those also… I DID NOT decide halfway through a booking to simply not do it and even if I had, so what? It’s my mouth your in, it’s my choice!

My regular client is no longer a client of mine, on my say so. I do not do CIM anymore, have no plans to start doing it again and no amount of pleading ‘I only come here because you do this’ will coerce me into doing it. What it will do is make sure I never pick up your call, answer your email or see you in any way, shape or form again.

If a lady says, ‘No Sir, I do not do that’ – RESPECT IT. It’s that simple. Do not try to make me feel a bitch for it, do not try to make out I somehow owe you this service.  And Sir, you know who you are so you can stop calling me now, I will never pick up again.

I hate being this stern on my blog, hate it. But I have to vent this. I have to put my lovely, petite foot down firmly and tell you all once and for all, I won’t do it. Plenty will, I am told, well great, go to the plenty then, I am unique, I am not part of the plenty and I will not blindly follow where others supposedly lead.

Okey-dokey? Good.

Now then, back to regular posting:

Where possible, for the next few weeks, family commitments pending, please try and book in advance if you wish to see me. If you call me up at 11am and ask for mid-day, your unlikely to get what you want. If you want a same day appointment, a same day INCALL please try to call me before 10am and allow a couple of hours for me to sort out family before you come over. I would greatly appreciate this for the next couple of weeks as I have a lot on and a lot of commitments to make. I can see you, I only please ask for a little more notice than an hour

Finally, to my client that claims I squat well – thank you Sir, I try my best

xxx

The eagle eyed among you will notice a few new pictures peppered throughout the site.

After my disastrous flirtation with the cod that caused the food poisoning I decided to update the pictures as it’s only fair you lot get something to titillate after a shockingly bad few months for me work wise.

First the flu which knocked me for six, shed poundage off me faster than if I had gone to a boot camp,  and made me want to curl up in a ball and die – I get a couple of weeks of being okay to work when a cod knocks me flat back down again for an entire 5 days. By way of apology to all the missed calls I discovered upon putting on my phone this morning, there are new shots of the slimmer me all throughout my site so if you only read the blog, go back and look at the site again… Skip the words and feast your eyes on the new pictures!

It is New Balls Please…. Season – Tennis mania has struck or should we call that Murray Mania, that’s the in thing isn’t it? I rather call him Murray Mint myself, whenever I see him I could go a bag of those!

I watched yesterday afternoon in a somewhat dazed state as Federer lost set one then set two and I thought, it can not possibly be! I did sort of guess that if it went to 5 sets he would win. But all those people betting on Federer to win it again must be thinking again… If he plays like that against Nedal, he’s a looser, a gonner, he needs to buck up. Perhaps he’s lost the appetite now? He’s won so much already and he has a brand new pair of twins to play with rather than the tennis racket? Retirement looming perhaps? Let’s face it, he can afford to not do one more hours work for the rest of his life. He won’t meet Nedal until late on in the tournament so, we’ll have to see… Bloody lovely to see John McEnroe again though, a total treat!

As this is a girls blog that boys read I think I should also give a nod to the footie, although, being Welsh, it’s hard to get worked up over England playing. I’ve always been of the opinion that footie is played by boys and rugby is played by men! Now, don’t throw your England flag at my head! I was watching the news this morning and all the in-fighting in the England team, manager against player? Bad news, in-fighting is very bad news. So, I do hope you English guys reading this get your team straightened out so they win today and come on, don’t boo the players, it’s bad form!

Typically, now I am fighting fit and well to work, the phone has gone into hibernation mode and all is quiet on this Western Front. It seems I will get the opportunity to watch Murray Mint play this afternoon without having to beg a client to keep it on silent in the background – not really greatly appreciated although I do remember an entire 2 hour booking I where we had to have the Welsh Rugby under 21′s on for the whole of the session – I would like to think it was I that got the chap all worked up but alas, I think it was the Rugby…

Tell you what, I’ll throw in another pic here and then sign off for now. I might as well go out and buy a huge bowl of fruit to feast on while watching Murray Mint this afternoon, plus a pack of those probably, just to get in the spirit. If anybody fancies saving me from death by apple, banana and strawberry plus a pack of Murry Mints please do call me, go on, you know you want to, just a test call, see if my phone still works

Love to all

xxx

Anybody wishing to visit me from now until Monday morning will have a job. A lovely fish supper last night has turned into a not so lovely case of food poisoning this morning! I will save you the specifics of what is happening to my insides and just explain – NIGHTMARE.

I will be resting up for the rest of the week and weekend.

Will add more to the blog as and when I can sit at my desk for longer than 10 minutes without feeling as if I am about to pass out!

Apologies to all and see you back, fighting fit on Monday!

xx

Guys and gals of the blog…

I extend my heartfelt apologies to each and every person that has tried to call me, tried to email me…

For the past three weeks I have been laying in bed with the flu.

Now, when I say the flu: I do not mean a cold. I do not mean a slight high temperature. I do not mean a feeling of being unwell slightly or even middle of the road not feeling well.

I mean the depths of absolute and total hell. I mean fire and brimstone, I am on my way to the devil, hell…

I mean – over a stone and a half in weight loss in two weeks.

I mean, call the doctor I think I am going to die – then, nothing… I could not talk to a single person, my family included. Whispers of that dreaded swine flu were rampant but the doctor, according to my sister, said no. Just run of the mill, ordinary old boring flu.

Run of the mill.

That is what he called it.

Run of the mill? Run of the God damned mill? I can’t even describe to you how I was hallucinating at one point. How I was so cold yet so bloody damn hot. How I got stripped to the underwear, freezing cold yet my lovely sister put a fan on me to make me even colder! Something to do with bringing down a fever she has told me – I reckon it was all to do with some sick, perverted torture she was carrying out, possibly in retaliation for the time when she was 8 and I was 5 and I stole her Barbie doll, cut off all the long blond hair, dressed her up in Action Man’s clothes and claimed, ‘she’s  butch now Claire, get used to it…’    She never got over that…

 How I could not sip water, how I did not know what  week it was, what day it was never mind what time it was. How when I eventually got to sit on the edge of the bed instead of lay in it like a half dead corpse, I was so shaky and weak I knew I could not even walk tot he dressing table and pick up a tissue.

Apparently, that is run of the mill.

I would like to see the doc take that for 2 weeks and then say it’s run of the mill. I used to like my doctor you know…

For the last 5 days I have been steadily growing stronger. Strong enough to eat a little bit and talk some and gather my strength together to think about work and look at all the cross emails I have had from missed possible bookings and possible advance booking requests which went unanswered by myself.

So, I am taking this blog entry as an apology to all.

This weekend I have to clean up my home so it is ready for back to work from Monday. I have to do it, three weeks laying in a bed sick has not been kind to my home – it’s a disaster of a mess. I would not invite myself in here to visit me…

Catching up on the news – oh, hang on a second, the news is only the election, right? On the bright side, I missed most of all the furor about the election. I was also too sick to go and vote on Thursday so I abstained. Possibly, sensibly so.

I have realised though, that, if I wanted to commit a hanus crime, then yesterday was the day to go do it as I would have had no press coverage at all unless, after sleighing 100 people’s heads off in Tesco, I then shouted ‘This is because of the hung parliament!’

I would like to warn my previous clients, you lovely lot, I am down a stone and a half here. My clothes are loose and my backside slightly smaller than before. In fact, all over me is slightly smaller than before. It’s been a revelation the last 2 days to find out I can get my jeans on again – the pair I have not been able to get on since 2004! I am oddly, still fitting into my bra’s which is odd as normally, with us girls, the boobs are the first place it goes from! God must have been pitying me and thought, you know, this woman, she needs to keep those boobs, they are quite my best work after all, let’s shrink her legs and backside, arms and belly instead! Thank you Lord!

Now I have shed this weight and been so sick, a healthy eating regime is in place to ensure I am at optimum fitness in the future to look the flu in the eye, should it try to come back and give it the two fingers, with a grin!

My phone is back on from Monday morning.

I might have forgotten what to do with you guys by then so if I were you, I would hurry and phone me for a booking – you’ll be getting a practical virgin – nobody has been near me in weeks!

Before I bugger off and contemplate how to clean up the shocking mess that is my lounge – if you have eaten too many cakes – catch the flu.  Seriously, weight loss with no effort.

And do not bother with all the meds you can get over the counter or from the doc himself – all pointless, don’t touch the symptoms even slightly. Save your time and your money and simply lay there feeling rotten until you can open your eyes and mutter to the person shuffling about the bedroom (my sister) what day is it and is it still 2010? Charmingly, when she asked me yesterday, before she went home to her own family, leaving me alone for the first time in weeks, to ensure I was properly okay to be left, she asked;  ’who was in charge of running the country?’ 

And I replied; ‘I really don’t know.’

To which she replied: ‘Yep, that is correct – your all better – I am off home to me husband, kids and dog – you owe me for nursing duties…’

Take care and call back – I am working from Monday.

Abby

xx

Happy Easter!

Normally being a very organised soul, I know where everything is and I can get my hands on it in about 5 seconds flat.  I have found myself scratching my head this morning and causing no doubt, wrinkles, as I frown.

I have put my password for my website somewhere safe and for the life of me can not find it. As I remember the password to get into the blog, I am having to post up a blog entry instead of a message on the front of the site. I have taken my study apart looking for this password and could kick myself, hard. I will find it possibly the very second after I hit post for this blog entry as that, as they say, is Murphy’s Law.

The reason for posting, the message I have to say is this:

I WILL BE UNAVAILABLE FOR WORK FROM TOMORROW, THURSDAY 1ST APRIL TO NEXT FRIDAY 9TH APRIL….

No, this is not an April Fool’s Day joke. I really am going on a holiday (singing Cliff Richard in my head as I type although given the weather, it’s far from the summer holiday he warbled on about many moons ago).

I will be able to take calls and pick up my email so anybody looking for an advance booking feel free to get in touch the usual way.

It is a last minute opportunity and one I can’t miss out on really so I am packing furiously and am off!

This is more exciting than when I won a giant Easter egg from a giant supermarket, when they called to inform me and I went ‘Really? Come on, really? Is this Paul? Is this a joke? I was not born yesterday…’ and I hung up.

I did actually win the eater egg as they called back and off I went to get it! That egg lasted me for months! I loved it! It’s the one and only thing I have ever won in the whole of my life!

Who needs the lottery, eh?

So I am off and before I go I will be hounding my lovely web lady to update the blog a bit, a new design perhaps… And also provide a new password for my site should I fail to find the old one! The poor lovely lady, I do make work for her…

So that’s all folks! In the wisdom of Buggs Bunny!

Have a good Easter all and see you on the 9th.

x

 As my Great Grandfather used to say: ‘Tis weather for Ducks love…’ I don’t mind rain, as long as it’s proper rain. Rain that throws it down, hammering your window at night almost violently while your all cuddled up in the blankets feeling blissful that your indoors snuggles up with nowhere to go and not outdoors with your umbrella inside out as you battle the force of Mother Nature.

Alas, we have had no rain like that. We have had that drizzle that can manage to soak you in five minutes flat and no umbrella or indeed a hood can keep it away – you see it, you have to go out in it, you know your going to get wet, end of. I am tiring now of wearing boots to outcalls and want to get my slingbacks back on pronto – I just need the weather to cooperate a little…

And fog… Yeah.., we’ve had some fog. Particularly last weekend across The Gower, we had fog. It made the common look very bewitching and dare I even say it, romantic, but it made the pillocks that drive white cars without their lights on particularly difficult to spot until you were staring down the nose of their bonnets. 

A driver of a white car with no lights on in thick fog decided to overtake a  bike rider, for his part, the rider was waving his hand in frustration and I am sure if I had clear visability I would have made out the term ‘f***ing w***er from his lips as the car jerked back onto his side of the road to avoid a collision with me. I had my fog lights on and that is what possibly saved me a nasty bump and a necessary showdown on the common with some fool that nobody can see coming until it’s almost far too late…

The rain has prevented me getting into my garden and planting all my cuttings this week. Come rain or shine I will have to do it this weekend as they need to be out in plenty of earth to grow and blossom in time for late spring.

I think we have been far too spoiled when it comes to rain the last few months – sure we have had snow then ice then snow but then we had sun and sun and sun so when the rain did come, it was a bit of a shock to the system.

Let’s hope we get the worst of it over now and when the clocks go forward this weekend, we get lovely balmy evenings where it remains light much later into the afternoon and the temperatures slowly start to creep up.

Once again this week I was delighted to welcome my exquisite box of chocolates man! Many thanks and you will be pleased to hear that this time I did not sit down and demolish the entire box in one go and in about half an hour!

This time I paced myself. I have been having just three chocolates per evening to make the pleasure last longer! It’s been absolute heaven.

To my client who visited me for the first time ever this week and the bed broke… Fear not Sir! I have fixed those slats and given it a good bouncing upon, they remain intact so it was a temporary break easily fixed. Quite why I laughed when the bed seemingly broke is beyond me, I mean, I would be the one paying out for the new bed, right? But it was funny and you were a good sport Sir so thank you for taking it all in your stride.

It would seem the spring in the air and the finally blooming daffodils has put a spring in the steps of my clients who have kept me busy the last few weeks. And I need to be kept busy else I will fall into the hands of mischief…

Already I have advance bookings for the coming weeks so urge those thinking of booking me to book ahead as Easter is fast approaching and I will be closing my diary soon. If your very lucky you might get a chance to catch me on a ‘same day as you call’ booking but the way advanced bookings are going at the moment, you would have to be very lucky so skates on and pick up the phone early, please.

Once again, a timely reminder, please do not call me at 10 am and ask for 10.30am that day – it’s not going to happen unless your a very good regular and can take the sight of me with bed hair and with a pile of dishes in my sink!

Also, please don’t call me at 2am – I do sleep you know, no, really, I do actually sleep and you will get nothing but a bark of ‘get lost’ from me if your going to call at that time asking if I am free for an incall right now…

Again, I know that the sort of client that does that is not the sort to read this blog but you never know, something might filter through…

x

Not so long ago it was January 1st and I was full of enthusiasm for a new year. To work hard, to be constructive, to accomplish…   I woke up this morning to my radio alarm playing Bread of Heaven (In Welsh!) on Radio 2 - it is March 1st – how the heck did that happen?

How the heck did 6am arrive so quickly this morning is another question I can not really answer but I will leave it there – how I wish it was still Sunday and the day ahead of me was a gentler paced one. I do love my Sundays of nothing of great consequence… Monday, sheesh, it’s always all go…

All my good intentions of working hard this year have, so far, eluded me. It would seem life has had other ideas for me for the first two months of this year. It’s a good job we never know what is around the corner or we would never set foot out of bed and take the walk to the end of the road to find out. 

Last week was a complete and utter washout and to all my lovely clients that tried to call me only to get voicemail and to those that actually got through to me (your timing skills are unique if you caught me with my phone on!) I apologise sincerely for being unable to work. A situation arose which demanded my attention (again) and I had to attend to it. There was no time or room for any work of this nature and as frustrating as you might have found it, I guarantee you could not have matched my frustration. Or my anger. Or my sleepless nights or my running about almost bumping into myself coming back from somewhere I had just been while I rushed on to the next place I had to go!

Sometimes, you are faced with a situation that it is best to tackle head on, best to turn off a phone, step back from everything else and deal with whatever it is that needs dealing with.

I have done that now.

Normal service is resumed from today onwards and I intend to take full advantage of having cleared the decks to make way for some good and proper frolicking.

I am waxed, I am buffed, I am polished and I am ready – you may call, you may email, you may sample the delights of my banana flavoured condoms once again!

I have a renewed spring in my step and a dangerous glint in my eyes – odd what a week of throwing out metaphorical trash can do to a person, it sort of refreshes, renews…

Finally before I head off to the hairdryer, Happy St David’s Day to all the Welsh! No, I do not have a Welsh Costume all togged up to somehow look sexy that I can slip on, although, I am certain there is a way to do it you know, I just need to think about it for awhile…

We can display the flag instead and all celebrate the fact that Welsh cakes are lovely, even if the daffs are not out yet. And Tom Jones is still sexy, I do not care what anybody else says…. I am off to listen to some Delilah and have a small dance about my lounge, then it’s dry the hair and make myself look presentable before no doubt dismissing 101 withheld number calls, dealing with emails where I am asked to explain exactly what happens on a booking please (Duh!? What do you think? We pair up odd socks and darn those that are worn out, obviously!) and settling down to some mind numbingly dull accounting stuff here while I wait for Mr Reasonable to call, with a number displayed to ask me in a cherrie voice if I am available this afternoon – Yes Sir, I am indeed!

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