Swansea Escort Abby

Feeling a touch of the winter blues two weeks ago, on an impulse, I went online and booked a swift getaway.

A brilliant and fantastic time was had and I return back refreshed and raring to go.

 

I left on a dark, damp, dismal day and I returned on a dark, damp and dismal day. One look at the weather proved I had missed nothing while away. One look at my phone proved I had missed plenty – to all that tried to get hold of me, sincere apologies. Sometimes a person has to get away. I got away.

But I am back!

 

I have spent the weekend decorating my house with Christmas trees and all manner of spangles and sparkles, had a jolly good clean up and am happy to report, the phone is on, my brain is out of holiday mode, I have slept off the jetlag and I am ready to work again with restored vigour and a cheerie spirit…

 

One more reason why I love my job? What other job allows you two weeks off at the very last minute when you terribly badly need them? No boss to chastise me, no illness to have to make up to get time off and nobody at all to bother me while I lay about getting massages and facials and some very badly needed sleep!

 

I look forward to seeing my regulars again and I look forward to welcoming along any newcomers!

xx

No… That title is not a homage to Glenn Frey!

It is to let all Gentlemen callers know….. Notoriously tight as I am…. My heating is now on!

 

As all callers last week found out – I have put off putting it on till I can no longer justify the words  ‘let’s make our own heat Sir….’  Cold feet and even worse, cold hands have made me succumb to the bloody gas boiler and switch it ON…. So, for all you lovely regulars and for any new callers – it’s as cosy as toast in my abode now…. You do not have to keep your thermals on any longer! Abandon them with glee all who enter here…..

 

Today, my blog is hitting the serious topic of OWO (oral without) and CIM (come in mouth).

As anybody that has paid me a visit will know, both these services have been readily available up to this point.

It is with much regret I am withdrawing them as of date of this posting.

 

I take a lot of comfort from the fact I know my own mind and I am a healthy individual that respects boundaries and takes active steps to ensure not only I am safe but you, the client, are safe also.

I have considered my decision carefully and realise that a lot of prospective clients might be put off visiting me when they realise that both these services are now dead in the water.

 

My reason for withdrawing?   I am increasingly concerned by the amount of infections I hear are doing the rounds in this area. Indeed, not only this area but across the country.

Maybe it is due to the recession, maybe it is not, but, there are a lot of new ladies arriving upon the scene that are happily and willingly allowing bareback to take place in their bookings.

The nurse at the local GUM clinic informs me there has been a staggering amount of new escorts arriving for checkups and a staggering amount of them are needing treatment for infections.

This is due to them offering bareback services and it stands to reason that if a man will sleep with an escort offering this service, I am odds on to catch an infection by performing OWO and CIM if they then book me after her. You know how it goes – your not just sleeping with the person your sleeping with, your sleeping with their entire back catalogue!

 

I have never to date caught an infection of any kind and all my tests came back totally clear again this month.

However, the risk, that was once small, has now grown. There is more of a risk I will catch something nasty by performing these services so, I will not be performing them as of now.

My sincere apologies to all that have enjoyed this aspect up to this date and rest assured, there are ways to get a satisfying experience out of your time with me other than OWO or CIM.

 

There are a lot of terrifically good escorts that will still offer this service. I am in NO WAY putting the good escorts that offer this service down at all. We can each make up our own minds. That is our perogative!

I would however like to advise all gents to tread with caution when your booking an escort. If the lady is willingly and happily offering bareback, please think what else she might be offering up with it – Gonorrhea, Herpes, Genital Warts….  Need I go on?

You can catch STD orally, so even if your insisting on a condom for sex, if your doing OWO, you can still catch and pass on a STD!

I am not preaching at you guys. I know you all know the score. I am simply trying to explain my reason for withdrawing these two services.

At the very least you will know, if your booking me, your going to leave me healthy and happy!

If my decision puts you off visiting me, that  is totally okay. If you can’t respect my decision and understand my reasons for the decision, your really not the type of client I would like to see anyhow so nothing is at all lost for either of us!

 

I am off to purchase a lot of flavoured condoms!!!!

xxx

 

So, the clocks went back and the nights closed in….

I have got out my long, black coat and my long, black boots. The black stockings and the black lingerie… This is where the fun can really begin!

No more arriving for an outcall in a summery, floaty dress and sandals…  Now I can arrive under cover of darkness…. All the neighbours curtains are closed, everybody is ignoring everything that goes on outside their front doors… It’s time for some va va voom..!

It’s a good job my car has air conditioning and heats up a treat, as, come the winter, I like to arrive in my coat, boots and  lingerie, just for the hell of it and obviously, the ease of not having to worry about clothing is a bonus!

Beware all you gents – the season of darkness is upon us and I take no prisoners….

 

Talking about the season of darkness is a nice intro into my next topic. Halloween!

At Halloween, I like to turn off my lights, pretend I am not home and eat all the ‘treats’ myself!

Inevitably I am caught out by some child masquerading as superman (and that is a scary costume, how?) If they are under 5, I forgive them, really, the parents have no imagination. If they are  over 35 and standing on my doorstep dressed as Superman, I do have Cefn Coed on speed dial (I do not know why my Doc gave me the number of the local mad house but I am sure it was for a very good reason…?)

 

My sister’s kids? Right, may I please give out a warning to all the residents of Swansea. HIDE. Do not answer your door between now and bonfire night! Under ANY circumstances! It is not the meter reading man. It is not the milkman. It is not the paper girl – It will be my sisters kids, dressed up in Gothic finery which they will have personalised with tomato ketchup and if you do not give them MONEY not sweets, they will have a handy egg behind their backs or a roll of saturated (with water!!) toilet tissue to fling at you! Failing that, I believe they like water balloons as well…

Honestly, I am not kidding you. My sisters kids are little terrorists.  My sister, says, as she puffs up her chest ‘They do not swear, they say please and thank you and I always know where they are and what they are doing! They simply have spirit, that’s all….’

It is a comfort to know that the little terrorists of today will be polite before they throw an egg at you and their mother will always know they are there doing it!

‘Trick or treat Sir, please? No? Ok, thank you for your time….’ Hurls an egg at the poor unsuspecting man ‘Have a good evening….’  (Nice smile) And off they go to get the next door neighbour as they text their Mam to check in….

 

I always slip those sods a fiver each on the morning of Halloween day as it prevents them coming round here and frankly, just because I am their Aunt, it does not mean I am fair game!

I have informed my sister there are restraints available to purchase if she really, really needs to ground the buggers but as yet, she has resisted the urge to chain them up in the shed, something to do with EU Child Cruelty Laws she said – pathetic excuse if you ask me!  I mean, really, who is going to know? Gag them as well and they can not scream out for help!

I have told her as well, if they scream out loud ‘My Mam has chained me up and locked me in the shed’ The neighbours will either rejoice or ignore what they have heard on account of the fact they regularly open up their bedroom windows and bellow ‘somebody call childline – she’s making me take a bath….’

My sister’s husband, the poor, long suffering guy, well, he tries his best but really, my sister is a tool short of a full box herself and as she is currently going through the menapause (all thank God she can not produce more children!) So he is currently sitting in a house with fans going full pelt, sleeping on the floor I am informed as she needs all the bed to herself (kicks like a mule apparently) and providing tissues at the rate of ten trees downed a day to mop up her tears.

He likes the pub, does my brother in law. He really likes it there….

I am being unfair really, he’s a great guy and he really is taking care of my sister right now. Thank God. Because frankly, those nephews of mine would have me sat in a chair babbling mindless rubbish if I spent more than an hour with them!

One more fake spider posted through my letterbox and I will commit real murder this Halloween…. It’s NOT FUNNY.

 

I myself, will not be celebrating this Halloween. I am having a nice, quiet time of it (I have informed my family I am going on a short break therefore can’t possibly be at the family get together this year!)

I am very into my work right now, I am enjoying my clients and my time with them so I will be working (should the phone ring) right through from now until Christmas Day! This really is my favourite time of the year to work. All the darkness outside seems to do the opposite to me than others – it revs me up rather than slows me down! So, it’s all guns-a-blazing! I do like my job

Take care all

x

 Ohhh, boy! Well, I have had the cold virus!

I can only apologise whole-heartedly to clients that tried to contact me the last week only to get my answer phone and no call back at all or to those I had booked in and had to cancel on.

 

So sick have I been that I thought at one point, it might be kinder to treat me like the dog I felt and put me out of my misery! You know, just one shot in the arm and I could sleep for eternity, floating happily on a cloud of pure white marshmallow mush, in a state of total bliss and harmony in the land of nod…..

 

I had to have a doctor out on Saturday! A real Doctor in my house for the reason of sickness not for the reason of naughtiness! Can you even believe that? Had to check I did not have swine flu! Well, in reality, my sister had to call a doctor to check I had not got swine flu as she was starting to look about the house for something she could use for a mask before she brought me fresh water and tissues!  

 The doctor arrived, some geezer I have never seen before in my life and I proceeded to die quietly the death of those that like a clean house – then get sick so can not clean and a stranger pops around, walks into your bedroom and bathroom both of which had not seen a duster for 5 days never mind a spray of air freshener or clean sheets! Ohhh, God, the shame….

 

Still, no swine flu here! A common cold he said, rather irritated at being called out, for what he saw as, no good bloody reason!

That is testimony to how rare it is for me to get sick! I rarely get so ill I think I might die easily! I rarely get colds or the common ailments that seem to knock others flat on their backs – when I do get sick, all around me fly into a high state of alert and panic and go calling in doctors when there really is no need…

 

Still, my sister is over the fanning herself madly with a paperback as she tries to ward off her menopause symptoms (apparently made worse by my being ill!?) has decided a face mask is not a must have item upon entering my home and is smiling again (now I am able to put my own trash out!)

 

I have had the torture of watching day time TV for the last two days as I regained my strength – Please, God, no more! I am ready to go back to work!

My phone is on, I am no longer infectious with the cold virus and apart from the occasional sneeze and/or cough, I am raring to go…

 

Thank you kindly to all that graciously accepted my cancelling of bookings, you shall surely be rewarded when you re-book!

Have a great week all.

xx

I was going to suggest throwing those conkers at Harriet Harman but I am more a love and peace kind of gal than a throw conkers at a pillock sort!

 

Poor down-trodden me, eh? Forced into this lifestyle for cash and no doubt pimped to within an inch of my life! I am probably hooked on all kinds of drugs and spun out off my head by 2pm each day. I never take good care of myself and am a shocking example to society! Quickly! Find me the nearest straight jacket and chastity belt with the strongest lock possible! I need reforming and then some…..

And as for you men that hire me – shame on you! Your terrible, terrible people –  we shall end up in chains for our sins when our time comes and we stand before our creator….   (Actually that sounds a bit kinky but perhaps that proves Ms Harman’s point – there is no hope for me or you….)

 

Oh dear… The ignorance on some people in so called ”intelligent” jobs really rather startles me at times you know.

I am going to stifle a yawn here and repeat what I have said a million times over….

I am not pimped.

I have never touched a drug in my life.

I do not drink anything stronger than coffee!

The only way I get spun out by 2pm is if I have been dancing to some 80′s pop song while cleaning and have jived about rather too much than would be considered sensible for a person in a pair of high heals and, generally, little clothing!

I like my job.

I am good at what I do.

I provide for myself without needing to drain the benefits system.

I contribute valiantly to the condom industry not to mention the knicker industry!

As for you charming and deserving gents that book me and pop along to the various sites that advertise me – don’t be put off by Ms Harman. Personally, I think she needs a good lay and am sure if she browsed some of the adult sites very carefully, she would find somewhere a suitable male to show her what it’s all about….

One more thing to add here before I skip off to my bath and attempt to make myself pretty for my caller this afternoon…..

If this job I do and the men that pay for me to do the job disgusts this Government so much, why are they more than happy to take my taxes off me? They are profiting from my work. I do not hear the words ‘No! We can not do that. It is ”immoral earnings and we shall not be privy to such a thing…”

Keep getting your backhanders from me Ms Harman, they are after all, paying for your second home and clothing and petrol allowance… If your prepared to take what I earn in the form of tax then shut the moaning up and concentrate on really matters in this world. Go pick on the paedophiles, the muggers, the rapists, the burglars and the corrupt MP’s

And leave my clients alone. They have more integrity in their little fingers than any member of any Government this country will ever have.

xxx

Well, after stumbling around B&Q looking in awe at the shelves I returned home, rolled up my sleeves and got stuck in!

 

Welcome this fine Monday morning! I have accomplished all this over the weekend:

 

Fixed banisters.

Shelves up all straight and secure.

The wallpaper my cat Arnie scratched off in the dining room? All taken care of (Arnie sits on my lap as I type this: Very, very difficult to type over a cat the size of a bloody cheater!) Arnie seems to think the dining room wall is a scratching post. No amount of repellent sprays have stopped him going for it. Not even a gigantic and horribly expensive scratching post next to the spot on the wall he likes has done the trick! So, I got a sleeper from B&Q. It’s not big, it’s a small one and cost only 5.00. I have placed it up against the wall for his amusement. What’s better than actual wood for a cat to scratch, right? He loves it! I knew he would. I have seen him at the bloody trees out the back here. Seventh heaven to him. Okay, I might have a slab of wood leaning up against my dining room wall but it’s there for a purpose and my wallpaper is grateful!

 

Fixed the dripping kitchen tap.

Stopped my front door from squeaking (that was driving me to the edge of insanity!)

Replaced a broken tile on the floor.

Shampooed carpet.

Put Christmas Decs in the attic (I know what date it is! They have been under the stairs since January and I will have to hike them out of the attic again in a few weeks…)

Touched up paint in all places it needed touching up. You know, chips off doors and so on.

Sorted out books, mags and cd’s.

Filled in holes on walls where there should not be holes and painted over them after.

Screamed in total, 5 times as I thought I saw a spider.

Broken 3 nails. I could weep!

 

Then I watched King Kong! Hurrah! I watched the old Kong, the one with Fay Wray and Robt. Armstrong then I watched the more recent one with Jack Black! Just to compare special effects and not at all because in my strange and odd mind, I see King Kong as a love story and wanted to watch it twice !!!

 

So, today, all that remains to do is a tidy up. From tomorrow morning, all is go again. Phone back on and work as usual….

Bring it on….

x

Well, as the title explains, I have a weekend off. I have so much to do around this house, so many little jobs to get sorted out, so many that I have even had to make a list and take time off to get them done. It’s now or never as the saying goes… 

 

First things first. A trip to B&Q. Being a girl I think that particular store (can you call B&Q a store?)  is fascinating. Not for the reasons perhaps a hardy builder would think it fascinating…. I think the way the screws and nails are all neatly lined up and sorted out is a bloody marvel! I salute their organisation! Everything is always so darned neat in B&Q! I can only hope to emulate that sort of organisation here at home one day! It’s not the same when you go to makeup counters or into Boots for example. Things are set up on counters or lined up on shelves, yes. But, to organise nails and screws like B&Q do? Absolutely neat and tidy and all in rows and in little boxes?  That’s just brilliantly lovely to stop and look at.

Even the doorknobs (I kind of like that word – doorknobs. I know it’s not all one word but if you say it as one word over and over then go to B&Q and ask for doorknobs, you inevitably want to giggle!) Even the door knobs (giggle) are all organised and in little compartments with an example on the front!

 

I love the smell of wood there as well, strange I know, it’s on a par with the smell of petrol when you fill up your car! Stand back and sniff it in! It’s about the only legal fun you can get of the sniffing variety! Petrol, wood, a nice aftershave that makes one follow the poor guy about Tesco, sniffing as you go… And Tip-ex! If you happen to have a brand new catalogue about, open that up and smell it, it smells just great!

Not being a drinker myself and partaking in no drugs whatsoever, all this  sniffing of things as I go about my day is something akin to guilty pleasure for me. And I swear, I follow the nice smelling men about shops at a safe distance! I never strike up conversation and I never make eye contact! Honestly!!!

 

So, it’s B&Q I head for once this blog is done and no appointments available until Monday! I can hammer, saw,  tile, paint and wallpaper. I can put things together and take them apart to put them back together again correctly! 

I can dig a garden and cut the grass. I have even put a shed together in the past… I can do just about anything really as long as I protect my nails along the way! The proof of a hard job well done will be a broken nail, so, I am anticipating one or two this weekend, sadly.

 

The garden might just have to wait though… I took a walk in it yesterday evening and very quickly returned back indoors after the sight of about a thousand large spiders forced me to flee, squealing like a small child!

Future clients take note! This is the season for the critters heading indoors – I will be in need of a nice man to relieve me of something black and hairy under a bowl in the middle of my living room  as the weeks go along and the monsters head for the warmth of my centrally heated house! Yikes!

Ok, deep breath and let the home maintenance begin – ‘Hi hoe, hi hoe, it’s off to B&Q I go……..’

IT’S LIFE JIM, BUT NOT AS WE KNOW IT……..

Oh dear, what a week! It does not matter how clearly one states things, they still need to be reiterated again and again…..

I think I am a fairly nice person. I try to be anyhow. Everybody deserves respect.

For the majority of the time, clients old and new that contact me are very lovely. But this week, I don’t know, perhaps it is silly season but I have had a rush of idiots….

I know that contacting me is sometimes a big deal for some people. You go from thinking about it to actually picking up your phone, heck, yes, I know that is a big deal.  But sometimes, well, some people come along and test my patience!

I have had countless text messages sent to me this week. How many times do I need to say I will not answer them? I can absolutely appreciate that if my phone is off, frustration at trying to get hold of me means a text message is sent. That I am going to get the second I put my phone on, right?

I understand that and with clients I have seen before, it is not really a problem. I know who they are and when it is okay, roughly for me to text them back, you know, when your not busy or in a situation where it will cause blushes!

I don’t ever reply to the text messages of people I have never seen before. I most certainly don’t reply to the ones that go like this ‘Ok for 2nite luv?’ I have had that sent to me umpteen times this week, that or variations of it….

How about this one I got just yesterday  ’send me a pic so I can decide if I want to see you…’

Hey, you know what? I don’t want to see you! How about that then!

If you can not be bothered to call me and actually talk to me, I don’t want to see you. All clear? Good.

Can I just also rant about the fact that, no I will not send a picture. Either to a phone or in an email. There are plenty of pictures here to browse, take a bloody good look at them and don’t waste my time asking me to send one personally.

Don’t ever think for one second I will send a lovely face picture either. Are you totally bonkers? This is as much for your sake as mine. If I plastered my face all over emails and phones and on websites, would you want to go out for a meal with me knowing the man three tables away knows who I am thanks to seeing my picture on a website? Come on…… 

‘I want to make a booking but would appreciate you sending me a picture of yourself first. Your website pictures are not clear enough, I can’t see what you look like…’

Yeah, okay. I came down in the last shower as well my friend! Booking cancelled by me.

 

I have to say that the majority of clients that contact me are charming, lovely and respectful. 

Some people have a flair for conversation and have no nerves at all when picking up the phone but the world is full of different people and we are blessed by that fact. It is totally okay to call me up and be a bit nervous, tell me and I will try to easy the conversation for you. Don’t text me.

 

I don’t understand all the abbreviations used in text messages either! I can’t make head nor tail of a lot of text messages I get! I look at them, frown and delete. What the hell did that actually mean? Off to make a coffee and read a book, a book where the words actually make sense!

This is a precarious occupation you know. There are huge risks for the lady. You guys might be a little nervous making contact but we actually don’t know you either and we are welcoming you into our lives for an hour or longer. We need to make sure we are going to be safe. How can we possibly judge that from a text message barely understandable that was sent without a name? Why on earth would we text back?

I don’t want to know your life story. I don’t even need to know your real name. But I would like to know you are capable of a polite conversation and actually hear your voice before I meet up with you. Aside from anything else, it is good manners and the time we have together has to be worthwhile for you, surely? I am not talking a deep and meaningful relationship here but that hour you are paying for, must it not have substance? Even if your only here for the one thing, would it not be better to actually enjoy that hour while your getting your one thing? Is a smile and a decent conversation, no matter how brief the encounter, better than an empty hour where you walk away feeling like just a number on my list for that week? Job done, beam me up Scottie?

 

The rudeness of a few has really rattled my cage this week and made it difficult to remember the majority of men that do contact me are indeed, brilliant.

I do take my work seriously and I take my clients seriously. Many say it I know but I say it and mean it – I want to make sure you have a good time. I want you to leave me feeling as if it was worth it. This is a lot of money for you to part with and my standards are high to reflect that fact.  I have been to the edge of insanity this week with silly text messages and face photo requests. Normally I just brush them off and get on with my day but the sheer volume this week is staggering….

Along with being a rant – this post is dedicated to all my lovely clients that call me up and chat with me nicely while they make a booking! You guys are great!  Regular clients and new clients that take the time to remember manners count? Your extrememly lovely and I appreciate the fact that you are. I appreciate it far more this week than I ever have before I can tell you…

x

Those of you paying attention will note my site is undergoing an image change. Not being the most computer literate person, I am still playing about with inserting pictures and getting them to sit where I want them to sit. I have this morning had a one way argument with the computer;  ’I said the middle of the page! The middle damn you… THE MIDDLE…..’  It’s not playing ball so until I have had more coffee and opened the blinds a bit to let in some sunshine (Yes, I said sunshine, that yellow ball that lives in the sky is shining and it’s somewhat thrown me off as I was expecting grey skies and drizzle, again. Not sure my eyes can take the glare of it after so much time without, so am being cautious and breaking them in gently!)

Many thanks to my web lady who managed to fit in my requests while running goodness knows how many other successful businesses!  Flowers, I said, give me flowers! I love flowers!

Unfortunately I alone am responsible for editing content. I am of the school of thought that, if it’s hard, coffee is needed plus a break every 10 minutes: Otherwise frustration might lead to my computer living in the shed, alone, unloved and unplugged for eternity while I slowly pull my hair out from it’s roots and wonder why God saw fit to not bestow technical genius upon me. I don’t argue with him too often, I mean, the Great Man gave me a pair of boobs to die for so what’s to row about really? I guess I am more your creative person than your technical person…

I will slowly work it all out and the site will be top notch before you know it so bear with me….

 

I have a friend in Heathrow – Alexandra. She works in this business and is a bit of a posh bird really.

You know how we Welsh girls talk? It’s all very down to earth and when we hear an English person pick up the phone, well, when I hear Alex pick up the phone I can’t help it, she is just so posh sounding! She goes: ‘Oh, hi Abby, how are youuuu?’ Very posh tone, very upper class…. Hysterical!

We Welsh go ‘Alright? Everything good?’ (We don’t all say ‘what’s occurring’ well, not if we can help it now…..) All jolly and friendly and well, normal (expecting a backlash from all English persons – please don’t, I think your great actually, if I throw in a few Welsh words it’s only for sport and to confuse you! It’s hardly my fault we play better rugby and have lots of sheep, is it!!!)

Anyhow, Alex was in her car and I called her. We were chatting away: when suddenly Alex goes;

 ’Oh, Hi Abby, how are youuuu? Oh excellent! Oh, oh god! Oh noooo! There is a man urinating across the road from me! Oh honestly, really in public?! No! That is terribly disgusting…. I should say something to him….’

Can you imagine Alex here in Wales, getting that window down and shouting out in her posh accent ‘Excuse me young man! You! Yes, you there…. Hello, how are youuuuu? I was wondering Sir, would you mind awfully not urinating in public? That is a nice clean wall there (waggling her impeccably manicured hand at the wall) do you think you could find a public lavatory Sir? You do? Oh, that’s great, thank you so much. You have a lovely day now!’

Ha! I do love Alex….. When I told her people pee in the sea here she was outraged. I don’t think she will ever dip a toe in the shores off Wales again!

I believe I read in the local paper this week that a lap dancing club was in for planning permission and a local vicar was strongly opposing it? Well, he would, I guess…. I don’t see the harm in it actually, well, I wouldn’t really so I shall watch with interest the outcome of this.

People get so hot under the collar about all things ‘sex’ related, even a nod towards something being a touch ‘sexy’ gets opinions flying faster than I would hop on a plane and fly to Italy if I got the chance and I would hop on that plane  fast, believe me!

I for one hope it arrives. People do enjoy sex, people do enjoy the titillation of it all. There is no harm in it as long as the people involved are reasonably level headed and grown up! I am taking a wild guess that the vicor would see more tits and arse and blatant sex on display if he took a walk down Wind Street one weekend night than he will ever see on show in a lap dancing club! I was collecting a friend from a night out back when we had out heatwave and the young ladies walking that street, oh, did I say walking? Sorry, I mean stumbling, the young ladies stumbling about that street at 1am were wearing possibly the same amount of clothing as a lap dancer yet without an inch of a lap dancers charm and class… I did not think too much of the ritual of being sick at the side of the curb either! God above, really? Get a grip girls!

Go home and put some clothes on! Get a pair of shoes you can actually walk in not those sky scrapper high things your holding in your hand due to the fact you couldn’t walk in them while sober let alone plastered three hours later and trying to stop the pavement from swaying back and forth! Perhaps we need a school for these young girls where we teach them to walk in these shoes? There is nothing to it really, it only requires balance and trickery and oh, about 7 double vodka’s less!? Ah.., here speaks an obviously mature lady and not a bright eyed 19 year old? Those days are gone for me I am afraid, I get my kicks behind closed doors not down the alleyway of a pub, behind a parked car while stammering ‘I don’t have any condoms….’ Yep, I heard that also that night! Had I had my own with me, I would have helped the young man out with one or two, but really, they saw me there as well you know, twiddling my car keys about while I waited on my friend and I swear to God, they acted as if it was a normal thing to be doing, the fact I was stood there looking possibly appalled did nothing to stop the young man’s girlfriend whipping out a boob or two – I moved on at that point, I had seen enough, heard enough…. Hysterical.

xxx

It has been put to me this week that I must be lonely. Apparently this is the reason I am in this profession.

Okay then, so, it’s not nothing to do with the fact I actually like sex?

It seems, if one tries to argue against an accusation of being lonely, it only makes the accuser more adamant that you are lonely, why argue so much if your not?

At the same time, if you say nothing at all to the comment, then your definitely lonely as why not try to argue otherwise?

Even a quip along the lines of ‘Hey, if I were lonely, I’d go get a dog/join a club/go out and find a life…’ Does nothing to dispel some people’s opinion that this is such a terrible thing to be doing on a daily basis, only desperation makes a woman do it. Desperation financially or indeed, the desperation of loneliness…

Loneliness is a terrible thing to suffer – can I just say here, once and for all, I am very happy in my work. Very happy in my personal life.  Lonely is not something I am experiencing right now.

Some of us like sex. Full stop!

 

Were we talking about the sun in our last post? I think we were…. Today I need my waders on just to pop to the corner shop to get some milk! Rain? Don’t talk! I know this is Wales and somewhere just North of me are hills. I know the hills and clouds produce rain. I know it rains more here than, say, the Home Counties of England as it’s very flat there in comparison to Wales(although, having been there in a Thunderstorm, I am not so sure that Wet Wales is indeed the worst place to live! Talk about scary, never in my life seen a lightening storm like it!)

All this rain though, come on, it’s July, give us a break! It’s very warm still… Puts me in the frame of mind for running through a field naked in the dead straight rain with the warm breeze gently blowing against normally covered up parts, how fantastic that would feel?

If anybody needs to contact me I will be somewhere west of here cavorting about naked in a rain soaked corn field – sorry, no pockets to keep my mobile phone!

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