Swansea Escort Abby

Well, after stumbling around B&Q looking in awe at the shelves I returned home, rolled up my sleeves and got stuck in!

 

Welcome this fine Monday morning! I have accomplished all this over the weekend:

 

Fixed banisters.

Shelves up all straight and secure.

The wallpaper my cat Arnie scratched off in the dining room? All taken care of (Arnie sits on my lap as I type this: Very, very difficult to type over a cat the size of a bloody cheater!) Arnie seems to think the dining room wall is a scratching post. No amount of repellent sprays have stopped him going for it. Not even a gigantic and horribly expensive scratching post next to the spot on the wall he likes has done the trick! So, I got a sleeper from B&Q. It’s not big, it’s a small one and cost only 5.00. I have placed it up against the wall for his amusement. What’s better than actual wood for a cat to scratch, right? He loves it! I knew he would. I have seen him at the bloody trees out the back here. Seventh heaven to him. Okay, I might have a slab of wood leaning up against my dining room wall but it’s there for a purpose and my wallpaper is grateful!

 

Fixed the dripping kitchen tap.

Stopped my front door from squeaking (that was driving me to the edge of insanity!)

Replaced a broken tile on the floor.

Shampooed carpet.

Put Christmas Decs in the attic (I know what date it is! They have been under the stairs since January and I will have to hike them out of the attic again in a few weeks…)

Touched up paint in all places it needed touching up. You know, chips off doors and so on.

Sorted out books, mags and cd’s.

Filled in holes on walls where there should not be holes and painted over them after.

Screamed in total, 5 times as I thought I saw a spider.

Broken 3 nails. I could weep!

 

Then I watched King Kong! Hurrah! I watched the old Kong, the one with Fay Wray and Robt. Armstrong then I watched the more recent one with Jack Black! Just to compare special effects and not at all because in my strange and odd mind, I see King Kong as a love story and wanted to watch it twice !!!

 

So, today, all that remains to do is a tidy up. From tomorrow morning, all is go again. Phone back on and work as usual….

Bring it on….

x

Well, as the title explains, I have a weekend off. I have so much to do around this house, so many little jobs to get sorted out, so many that I have even had to make a list and take time off to get them done. It’s now or never as the saying goes… 

 

First things first. A trip to B&Q. Being a girl I think that particular store (can you call B&Q a store?)  is fascinating. Not for the reasons perhaps a hardy builder would think it fascinating…. I think the way the screws and nails are all neatly lined up and sorted out is a bloody marvel! I salute their organisation! Everything is always so darned neat in B&Q! I can only hope to emulate that sort of organisation here at home one day! It’s not the same when you go to makeup counters or into Boots for example. Things are set up on counters or lined up on shelves, yes. But, to organise nails and screws like B&Q do? Absolutely neat and tidy and all in rows and in little boxes?  That’s just brilliantly lovely to stop and look at.

Even the doorknobs (I kind of like that word – doorknobs. I know it’s not all one word but if you say it as one word over and over then go to B&Q and ask for doorknobs, you inevitably want to giggle!) Even the door knobs (giggle) are all organised and in little compartments with an example on the front!

 

I love the smell of wood there as well, strange I know, it’s on a par with the smell of petrol when you fill up your car! Stand back and sniff it in! It’s about the only legal fun you can get of the sniffing variety! Petrol, wood, a nice aftershave that makes one follow the poor guy about Tesco, sniffing as you go… And Tip-ex! If you happen to have a brand new catalogue about, open that up and smell it, it smells just great!

Not being a drinker myself and partaking in no drugs whatsoever, all this  sniffing of things as I go about my day is something akin to guilty pleasure for me. And I swear, I follow the nice smelling men about shops at a safe distance! I never strike up conversation and I never make eye contact! Honestly!!!

 

So, it’s B&Q I head for once this blog is done and no appointments available until Monday! I can hammer, saw,  tile, paint and wallpaper. I can put things together and take them apart to put them back together again correctly! 

I can dig a garden and cut the grass. I have even put a shed together in the past… I can do just about anything really as long as I protect my nails along the way! The proof of a hard job well done will be a broken nail, so, I am anticipating one or two this weekend, sadly.

 

The garden might just have to wait though… I took a walk in it yesterday evening and very quickly returned back indoors after the sight of about a thousand large spiders forced me to flee, squealing like a small child!

Future clients take note! This is the season for the critters heading indoors – I will be in need of a nice man to relieve me of something black and hairy under a bowl in the middle of my living room  as the weeks go along and the monsters head for the warmth of my centrally heated house! Yikes!

Ok, deep breath and let the home maintenance begin – ‘Hi hoe, hi hoe, it’s off to B&Q I go……..’

IT’S LIFE JIM, BUT NOT AS WE KNOW IT……..

Oh dear, what a week! It does not matter how clearly one states things, they still need to be reiterated again and again…..

I think I am a fairly nice person. I try to be anyhow. Everybody deserves respect.

For the majority of the time, clients old and new that contact me are very lovely. But this week, I don’t know, perhaps it is silly season but I have had a rush of idiots….

I know that contacting me is sometimes a big deal for some people. You go from thinking about it to actually picking up your phone, heck, yes, I know that is a big deal.  But sometimes, well, some people come along and test my patience!

I have had countless text messages sent to me this week. How many times do I need to say I will not answer them? I can absolutely appreciate that if my phone is off, frustration at trying to get hold of me means a text message is sent. That I am going to get the second I put my phone on, right?

I understand that and with clients I have seen before, it is not really a problem. I know who they are and when it is okay, roughly for me to text them back, you know, when your not busy or in a situation where it will cause blushes!

I don’t ever reply to the text messages of people I have never seen before. I most certainly don’t reply to the ones that go like this ‘Ok for 2nite luv?’ I have had that sent to me umpteen times this week, that or variations of it….

How about this one I got just yesterday  ’send me a pic so I can decide if I want to see you…’

Hey, you know what? I don’t want to see you! How about that then!

If you can not be bothered to call me and actually talk to me, I don’t want to see you. All clear? Good.

Can I just also rant about the fact that, no I will not send a picture. Either to a phone or in an email. There are plenty of pictures here to browse, take a bloody good look at them and don’t waste my time asking me to send one personally.

Don’t ever think for one second I will send a lovely face picture either. Are you totally bonkers? This is as much for your sake as mine. If I plastered my face all over emails and phones and on websites, would you want to go out for a meal with me knowing the man three tables away knows who I am thanks to seeing my picture on a website? Come on…… 

‘I want to make a booking but would appreciate you sending me a picture of yourself first. Your website pictures are not clear enough, I can’t see what you look like…’

Yeah, okay. I came down in the last shower as well my friend! Booking cancelled by me.

 

I have to say that the majority of clients that contact me are charming, lovely and respectful. 

Some people have a flair for conversation and have no nerves at all when picking up the phone but the world is full of different people and we are blessed by that fact. It is totally okay to call me up and be a bit nervous, tell me and I will try to easy the conversation for you. Don’t text me.

 

I don’t understand all the abbreviations used in text messages either! I can’t make head nor tail of a lot of text messages I get! I look at them, frown and delete. What the hell did that actually mean? Off to make a coffee and read a book, a book where the words actually make sense!

This is a precarious occupation you know. There are huge risks for the lady. You guys might be a little nervous making contact but we actually don’t know you either and we are welcoming you into our lives for an hour or longer. We need to make sure we are going to be safe. How can we possibly judge that from a text message barely understandable that was sent without a name? Why on earth would we text back?

I don’t want to know your life story. I don’t even need to know your real name. But I would like to know you are capable of a polite conversation and actually hear your voice before I meet up with you. Aside from anything else, it is good manners and the time we have together has to be worthwhile for you, surely? I am not talking a deep and meaningful relationship here but that hour you are paying for, must it not have substance? Even if your only here for the one thing, would it not be better to actually enjoy that hour while your getting your one thing? Is a smile and a decent conversation, no matter how brief the encounter, better than an empty hour where you walk away feeling like just a number on my list for that week? Job done, beam me up Scottie?

 

The rudeness of a few has really rattled my cage this week and made it difficult to remember the majority of men that do contact me are indeed, brilliant.

I do take my work seriously and I take my clients seriously. Many say it I know but I say it and mean it – I want to make sure you have a good time. I want you to leave me feeling as if it was worth it. This is a lot of money for you to part with and my standards are high to reflect that fact.  I have been to the edge of insanity this week with silly text messages and face photo requests. Normally I just brush them off and get on with my day but the sheer volume this week is staggering….

Along with being a rant – this post is dedicated to all my lovely clients that call me up and chat with me nicely while they make a booking! You guys are great!  Regular clients and new clients that take the time to remember manners count? Your extrememly lovely and I appreciate the fact that you are. I appreciate it far more this week than I ever have before I can tell you…

x