Happy New Year!

Not the most original of headers I grant you but how many other ways can one say ‘Happy New Year’? Really, think about it? Unless you speak another language and then it becomes interesting I guess.

You can’t say seasons greetings.  No glad tidings. No Goodwill to all men…

You could I guess say merry new year but it sounds really peculiar!

Punchy New Year to you Sir? That is bloody awful! I have actually heard that once and thought the guy that bounded into the establishment that was the near deserted pub on a quiet New Years day afternoon needed a punching to silence him – did he not know it was National Hangover Day? Cheery bloody sod!

It is bad enough you have to actually get up out of a warm bed and face otherwise not seen for 12 months relatives and eat a New Years Day dinner while feeling slightly green around the gills and in need of nothing more than a nurofen or four and another 5 hours sleep, without some bouncing, happy, full of life human in a pair of walking boots with a cane to hand (mountain climbing anybody?) gaily dancing about directly in your face! I actually felt a bit sea sick watching him walk about briskly and sway from side to side on that damn cane!

Yikes! Go away scary, happy, probably in bed by 10pm last night with a cocoa, person…. 

So, well, umm, Happy New Year!

Just to cheer us all up this New Year it did this here today….

Jolly good fun then!

Now. I watched the weather after the news last night and last time I checked, Swansea was South Wales. South being the key word here.

Not North and not East. South.

No snow for South Wales. Plenty up North though and some showers in the East…

Pottering about today in the house, I was smoothing down the clean sheets on the bed, deciding what underwear would be best for the day ahead, should any be needed, I get a lot of last minute calls… One minute I walked past the window and it was normal, green grass, some concrete, I could see my fabulous garden gnome (I don’t care what you think – Norman the gnome and I have a tremendous relationship come spring and summer. He’s a fantastic conversationalist when he gets going, many a seed planting has he kept me entertained and he has more sense in his little fishing rod than some humans have in their entire brains – myself included it seems!!) 10 minutes later I walked past the same window and it was white! Everything. It was falling in mammoth proportions and I was somewhat stunned. I could not see Norman anymore, he was gone, hidden under a pile of that white stuff. Blimey, fancy that…

I often wonder what the panic is when it begins to snow.

The school near my house could not get the little horrors out fast enough and why does every child insist on throwing snowballs the size of, oh, shall we say, France? At every passing car like it’s all a big joke (until a driver actually stops, opens his window and screams ‘come on then, start…’ in a really nasty tone of voice, then they all run away in their little school person’s uniform – the cowards).

Yes, the school threw them all out about 15 minutes into the snow falling. An hour later the sun was out, the sky was blue, the roads were clear and those teachers got an extended Christmas break.

I do not know if any more snow will fall. The schools might have been prudent to get rid of the kids now rather than say, 3pm should it start again but the chaos it creates? Total madness. Everybody with a child and a car was out on the road at exactly the same time, everybody, even the kids that normally walk it or take buses. Total traffic meltdown.

My mother was at the shops at the time and called me up shouting loudly ‘It’s bloody bedlam in Sainsbury’s. They are coming in, in their masses chanting ‘snow, snow, must get bread and eggs!’ I am going bloody home!’

Hmmm, that’s my mother for you. I bet she painfully elbowed others out of her way so she could go against the flow of feet coming into the shop as well – would not have surprised me if she got herself arrested you know, she can be quite ruthless when she wants something and this morning, she wanted to go home!

What is it about the desire for eggs and bread and milk when it snows? Suddenly, they are desired more than life itself! They are worth the risk of slipping and falling over, breaking your leg. They are worth driving in torturous conditions with a thousand and one other cars, their occupants hell bent on getting eggs, bread and milk…. When exactly was the last time we were snowed in for a fortnight and all nearly starved to death and eggs, bread and milk saved our lives?

Isn’t it very difficult not to panic when all around you are loosing their marbles!? You suddenly find yourself thinking ‘God! Really? They are going to get eggs, bread and milk? I should go as well then! I mean, they are all going, right? It is very important then! I have to go now… Right now… No, don’t stop me, I have to get eggs, bread and milk…’

I didn’t go.

I just saw the snow falling and thought ‘Well, that’s that for any work today then…’ Got on my dressing gown and long, to the knee socks (sexy, eh?) and settled in for another day of cruising about the Internet, trying not to do any clothes shopping while pretending I am completing my tax return and having another cup of coffee.

I hope it all goes by tomorrow. I have taken time off for Christmas and have missed my work I want to get back in the flow of get up, work out (yeah, right, that is always my intention but you know how bad good intentions can go…) shower, tidy up, take a booking, have my supper happy with the world. I miss the normal. I miss the routine. I want it back – go away snow immediately and this instant! I have a job to do and nobody comes to see me when it is snowing… Feel sorry for the first man that calls on me after the Christmas break and if this snow keeps up (if you are the first man my humble apologies beforehand) as I am going to be so starved for another adults attentions I am going to firstly talk your head off before I…. Enough said really…

I am indeed, as you have guessed from this post – back into the swing of things here. I wanted to say open for business, but really, how much inuendoe is there in that sentence for my job?

A most sincere Happy New Year to all my callers old and new. I hope it’s a very good one for us all.

Keep warm, keep safe in this weather and keep smiling – it will soon be summer and then we can all complain it’s too darn hot!

With much love

xx   (and cozy toes! honestly, try the knee high socks!)